NB: This is a response to dancing pet’s post about my abilities as a Dominatrix.

This blog post, like every other post on Cocktease Mistress, are my opinions only, and based on my experiences from real life BDSM and from phone domination. I do not profess myself to be an expert in BDSM or D/s. In other words, your mileage may vary =)

I look at a lot of other phone dommes’ sites and ads. Some of those sites that  profess to be Domination-based really kind of amaze me.

These are the women who are all about flouncing around, shrieking at subs, stomping their feet, and braying “It’s all about ME!!!” In other words, 19-going-on-5 years of age with a bad case of spoilt brat. In fact a lot of these ladies even call themselves “brats”.

That’s all well and good, and if that is what you as a phone sex caller get into, go for it. It’s all about amusement value as far as phone sex goes, right? And whatever gets you off.

But it’s not Domination, at least not in my opinion.

Domination is about control. These “brats” can’t even control themselves, much less anyone else.

Domination is about getting into a submissive’s head, inside his or her brain. It’s about gaining their trust, even when they don’t normally trust people. It’s about understanding what makes them tick and using that to push their limits. It’s about allowing a submissive to worship me to the point he’ll do whatever I like.

It’s about making something that is actually pretty hard look almost effortless =)

Domination and submission compose a symbiotic relationship. It’s not about one or the other, but about both. It can be a relationship formed of respect and mutual trust, and one that caters to both the Dominant’s and the submissive’s needs.

I do not raise my voice or lose my temper. I don’t have to. I rarely even have to order a submissive to do something – unless his head is in the place he needs that.. And if I do it, is in a tone that commands respects and harbors no backtalk.

As in just. do. it. now.

Even when I have a submissive in bondage – his hard balls in my hands – even when I have been torturing and edging him for hours, and he looks into my eyes and sees that cold fire inside my head – even when he sees no sympathy for his pain or frustration – even then, I am giving him what he needs.. and in the end, we both know on the other side of that pain, that frustration, is a euphoria that someone who is not into BDSM just doesn’t get.

To me that is what Domination is about… seeing what a submissive needs, and giving it to him. Helping him to that other side of the pain, the frustration, helping him to achieve that euphoric reward.

Just like dancing pet, who at my bidding, sent me a nice little money shot:

Dancing Pet Sends Me a Money Shot

BTW, thank you for that very sweet and heart-felt post you wrote, dancing pet, I do appreciate it

And so to my readers, and possible long-distance subs:

If you like, you can call me and see if I am the right Dominatrix for you. If not, that is fine.

Or you may prefer a stomping screaming spoilt brat who never quite made it past the terrible two’s.

And that is fine too =)